Editorial Note: This is a transcript of an audio talk delivered to a Sunday Bible study class. It has been lightly edited by Claude AI for readability: misspellings have been corrected, paragraphs and sentences have been structured, scripture quotations have been highlighted, and banter or informal interjections have been marked. The content and argument remain entirely the speaker’s own.
Jacob: His Father Never Loved Him
[Banter/Interjection: Very happy to be here and to bring the word again. We were away last week in Georgia and that was enjoyable. I was with the Primitive Baptists, but to me they didn’t look that primitive, you know — and those that know who I’m talking about will definitely agree.]
All right. So last time I taught at church I talked about Jacob, and we asked the Lord’s blessing — indeed, we need the Lord’s blessing. We need the Lord’s grace, don’t we? Otherwise, what’s the point? And when we meditate on the Scripture in the morning, don’t we always ask for understanding and a heart that will receive and put it into practice? And this is what we’re praying at the moment.
So last time I taught at church I talked about Jacob, and Jacob will be my focus again. Now let’s remember once more that Jacob is the John of the Old Testament — the disciple whom Jesus loved. And Jacob in the Old Testament is the beloved of God.
So when we think of Jacob, we must think: the beloved of God. But there is something more which I hadn’t noticed. In Psalm 20, Psalm 21, and Psalm 24, and six to eight times in the book of Psalms — ten times altogether in the Old Testament — we hear the phrase the God of Jacob.
Consider this in the light of Hebrews 11:16: “But now they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly. Wherefore God is not ashamed to call himself the God of Jacob.”
God forbid that we should be ashamed to call Jacob our brother. There is a lot of mud that has been slung over the years at Jacob. But God says, I am his God. I love him.
The Danger of Misreading Jacob
All right. But what happens if we don’t do that — if we don’t receive Jacob as the beloved of God? We lose the example. We rob ourselves of the example of a great saint of God: an example of divine grace, of how to be faithful, gracious, and triumphant against tremendous adversity.
But where did the adversity come from in Jacob’s life? From his family — his own flesh and blood. From his father, his brother, his brother-in-law and uncle, and from almost every one of his sons. Our focus today, however, will be on his father.
His father never loved him. His father never loved him. And just when Jacob was about to inherit, he lost it all.
What Jacob Had to Contend With
Now you may think Jacob never gave way to bitterness — and this is the thing. You may think it’s hard to get recognition from your father. But what if God himself revealed to your father that you were the chosen son? What if God himself called you upright, but your father still preferred your no-good brother?
What would you do if your own father tried to give what was yours to your wicked brother? What would you do if your lazy brother lived like a prince off his father’s money, while your own father wouldn’t lift a finger to help you — even though that same brother wanted to kill you?
Jacob faced adversity after adversity from his own flesh and blood. How did he handle these adversities? And what can we learn from Jacob’s godly example, so that we too can deal with adversity from our own flesh and blood — and deal with it God’s way?
So let’s recap.
Isaac Sends Jacob Away with Nothing
In Genesis chapter 28, Jacob and Esau’s father — the vastly wealthy and powerful Isaac — threw Jacob out in the cold. The son whom God loved so dearly. What do I mean? Isaac burdened his son Jacob with the task of getting from Beersheba to Haran — a 651-mile journey — alone, with no help at all. Isaac didn’t seem to care if his own flesh and blood lived or died. We’ll return to that incident later.
Of course, it shouldn’t have been that way. Isaac was the best of men. Isaac had a great father in Abraham, the father of the faithful. Isaac would have learned God’s ways at Abraham’s knees and seen Abraham’s faith in action year after year after year.
When Rebekah, his wife-to-be, saw Isaac for the very first time, he was meditating on Scripture out in the field. Isaac clearly had a genuine relationship with the Lord. When his wife couldn’t conceive, he prayed faithfully for twenty years before the Lord answered his prayer and the twins, Jacob and Esau, were born.
Isaac was no Sunday Christian, but a man who walked with the Lord. In Genesis 26, God himself appeared to Isaac twice and blessed him and instructed him where he should settle during a time of famine. Furthermore, Isaac’s name is forever joined with the name of God. God said to Moses in Exodus 3:6: “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob” — and the Lord would never hitch his own name to the name of a hypocrite or an unbeliever.
But most of all, in Isaac’s youth, he became a type of Christ. He let himself be bound to the altar as a sacrificial offering by his father to God on Mount Moriah. We simply cannot deny that Isaac was a genuine believer. He genuinely knew God. In fact, he is a model for the faithful in his obedience, self-sacrifice, revealing prayer, and more.
Isaac’s Catastrophic Favouritism
But Isaac, who was so upright for so long, went radically crooked. After his sons were born, he consistently favoured the Ishmael in his own house — Esau — and only because his game filled Isaac’s belly. Do you ever look at someone who should know better and think, Why are they into that? The reason doesn’t have to make sense. It could be just as dumb and empty and self-centred as Isaac’s reason to prefer Esau.
But God’s word to Rebekah — that the older would serve the younger, that the younger, Jacob, would receive the right of the firstborn and the blessing that came with it — Isaac dismissed. Isaac loved his evil, reprobate son. Isaac loved him, even though all Esau did was hunt game — nothing to do with the family business or God’s purpose for man, which is to fulfil the dominion mandate. Even though Esau despised his birthright and sold it for a stew and a piece of bread, Isaac loved Esau still, and not in a good way, and never showed any concern for his son Jacob.
When Esau married not one but two women — both evil Hittites, Canaanites — and even though Isaac himself and his wife were tormented (the same word used for Job) by these women and their fertility cult ways, Isaac continued to favour Esau and longed to bless his apostate son.
Worst of all, godly Isaac, spiritual Isaac, knew what God wanted — that Esau serve Jacob — yet he schemed in secret to make the younger serve the older.
Making Sense of a Straying Believer
How do we make sense of this? And how do we make sense of whatever you’re thinking of in your own life right now — in your family, or outside of it?
We can only take the data of Scripture in Isaac’s case and say that he was an exceptional believer in the Lord who went very badly astray. We can marvel and take comfort at God’s patience and mercy with his straying sons. But let’s not hit the nuclear button because someone has deep faults and failings, and say they were never a Christian. Take the example of Isaac and hold it up to the life of whomever you are thinking of. He flew so high, sank so low, and yet was always a child of God.
Jacob’s Point of View
But let’s go further and consider this from Jacob’s point of view. Jacob knew from his earliest days — from his mother — that the right of the firstborn was his. Jacob knew all the stories from his father’s youth: his father’s piety toward his own father Abraham, how he offered himself up as a sacrifice on Mount Moriah, that he had laboured in prayer for decades, that he had meditated on God’s word for decades again and again, how God had appeared to his father twice, blessing Isaac during a time of famine.
He knew this. He knew all of this, and yet he had to hold all this in his mind and try to reconcile it with the fact that his father never loved him. According to Scripture, not one ounce of support did Jacob ever receive from his father. It must have been confusing, hurtful — a constant stone in his shoe — to know that Esau, who was never any good, a profane man, a self-pitying man, a double-dealing crybaby, was still favoured by his father against all reason, and even against God’s own words.
Jacob also knew himself. He didn’t suffer from a false humility — and that is a temptation sometimes: Well, it must be my fault, I must be in the wrong. But no. Genesis 25:27 says in the Hebrew that Jacob was an ish tam — that is, an upright man, a man without blemish, an undefiled man, a godly man.
Jacob was always dutifully labouring in his family’s business. He was making stew when Esau stumbled in from the hunt. Jacob did his duty at each turn. He always did what he was told. He knew how to fight. Where do we find Jacob fighting? Jacob contended with his evil brother Esau for his birthright and secured it fair and square — stew and bread for the inheritance.
The Sting of a Father’s Betrayal
How it must have stung him when his own father tried to snatch the birthright from him — which was Jacob’s by God’s prophecy to Rebekah. Genesis 25:23 says: “Two nations are in your womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from your bowels, and the one people shall be stronger than the other people, and the elder shall serve the younger.”
But Isaac schemed behind his wife’s back to give the birthright, the preeminence, and the blessing to Esau instead — and it was only Jacob’s mother Rebekah who prevented this disaster.
[Interjection: Women are so important in Scripture.]
Isaac thought he was blessing Esau when he said in Genesis 27:29: “Let people serve you and nations bow down to you; be Lord over your brethren, and let your mother’s sons bow down to you.” Isaac tried to take the universe and turn it on its head — to say my will be done instead of thy will be done.
Where was his father’s recognition for all Jacob’s constant toil day in and day out? Where was the pat on the back? Where was the look of approval in his father’s eyes? Esau got all those from his father, and more, without any of the toil and sacrifice of Jacob. How often would Jacob have seen his father’s face light up when Esau came in from the hunts? How many times would he have heard them feasting together? The crushing truth was unavoidable: Isaac loved Esau — never Jacob.
Sixty Years of Service, Nothing to Show
What was the use of Jacob’s work — mastering his father’s business from his youth, through his twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and into his sixties? In fact, by the time Jacob secured the legal right to his inheritance through his father’s blessing, Jacob was 71 years of age. Isaac was 131 years old when he blessed his son, and he was 60 years old when the twins were born — you can do the math yourself.
Jacob had served his father faithfully for six decades, and what did he have to show for it? Nothing.
Jacob was a very skilled worker. He had sixty-plus years learning the livestock trade. He knew the business up and down. But he left with a staff in his hand, and with each step on the road to Haran, his rightful inheritance slipped further out of reach. Sixty-plus years of service — for a day-and-night farmer, with no holidays. Seventy-one years of playing second fiddle to his brother. Seventy-one years of coldness from his father.
But wait — wicked Esau was doing much better than godly Jacob. Esau already had two wives; Jacob had none and no prospects.
What a contrast Jacob’s life was to his father’s. Abraham made sure Isaac secured a godly wife. He sent a whole camel train — ten camels — with his most trusted servant in charge. But Jacob was thirty-one years older than his father Isaac was when he married. Did Isaac not know that Jacob was chosen by God to carry on the line of the Messiah? Was Isaac ruining Jacob’s life deliberately? Jacob had three score years and ten to mull it all over.
The Dream That Was Shattered
At least at 71, Jacob had finally secured the legal title to his father’s estate. Isaac would soon be dead. Jacob would be heartbroken, but at least he could use the resources of the clan to secure a suitable wife.
Perhaps he daydreamed as he laboured in the fields. What would she look like? How soon will I savour the delights of marriage? Would I be comforted by my new wife at my father’s death, as Isaac was comforted by Rebekah at the death of his mother Sarah? And finally he could deal with Esau. Isaac’s armed forces would be his — his wealth too. He could make Esau an offer he couldn’t refuse. The men would all back him up after all; he’d worked alongside each one all their lives, and had worked with their sons and their sons’ sons. Jacob’s wait would very soon be over.
But how devastated he must have been when he learned that Esau was about to play his trump card: murder. By sword or by bow, Jacob would fall and the inheritance would fall into Esau’s hands. Esau would wait until Isaac died, because he loved his father — and then he would snuff Jacob out, because you cannot inherit if you are not breathing.
Did Jacob also daydream that now, in his great time of need, Isaac would come to his senses? That he would hear of Jacob’s plight and mobilise armed men to protect him? Perhaps Jacob would be whisked away to Laban’s house, or to Abimelech where his father had once found refuge.
But that was a fantasy. It was a dream.
The Danger of Living in a Dream World
[Interjection/Aside: And we can’t afford to entertain ourselves with silly flights of fancy. Living in a dream world — of books (the Lord of the Rings included), of computer games, of movies, of Instagram, all that, whatever your dream is, and there are other worse dreams — is beneath our high calling as Christians. True reward is found in God’s world, in serving real people, in facing up to our real problems.]
Esau’s Murder Plot and Rebekah’s Response
Genesis 27:41–45 says: “So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him. And Esau said in his heart, ‘The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’ And the words of Esau her older son were told to Rebekah. So she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said to him, ‘Surely your brother Esau comforts himself concerning you by intending to kill you. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice: arise, flee to my brother Laban in Haran and stay with him a few days, until your brother’s fury turns away — until your brother’s anger turns away from you and he forgets what you have done to him. Then I will send and bring you from there.’”
Rebekah knew that Esau was serious about killing Jacob. Genesis 27:40 says — speaking of Esau — “By your sword you shall live.” Isaac had prophesied that Esau would kill for a living. Had Esau already killed? We cannot know. But Esau would live by the sword, God said, and only Jacob stood between him and Isaac’s fortune.
Rebekah’s Wisdom in Approaching Isaac
That is what Rebekah told her son. But what did she say to her husband? She said this — Genesis 27:46: “I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, like these who are daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me?”
When she speaks to her husband, she does not mention the fact that Jacob’s life was threatened. Why not? Because telling Isaac that Esau was going to kill Jacob would not have had the desired effect. Isaac had so gorged himself for decades on Esau’s deceitful dishes that he had become blind to the evident faults of Esau and to the obvious uprightness of Jacob.
And perhaps your father, or someone else you love and respect, is blind to your own goodness, to your own abilities — despite the fact that God tells us in His word that Jacob was a righteous man. It would have been obvious to everyone. But it did not register with his father.
How Rebekah Moved Isaac to Act
How did she call her husband to action? She appealed to his belly. In other words: Another daughter of Heth means more trouble for you. So if we send Jacob away, that means no more trouble for you. A neat appeal — because at this stage in his life, Isaac’s god was his belly.
The dying Isaac springs immediately into action. He says in Genesis 28:1–4: “Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and charged him, and said to him, ‘You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Padan Aram, to the house of Bethuel your mother’s father, and take yourself a wife from there of the daughters of Laban your mother’s brother. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may be an assembly of peoples; and give you the blessing of Abraham, to you and your descendants with you, that you may inherit the land in which you are a stranger, which God gave to Abraham.’”
So it looks as if Isaac finally loved his son. But no — Isaac simply wanted an easy life. No more annoying Hittite daughters-in-law to deal with, and he wouldn’t have to deal with Esau complaining that Jacob had the inheritance.
Why do I say that? Genesis 32:10 says: “With my staff I crossed this Jordan” — nothing more than a staff. But in Genesis 24, Abraham’s most experienced servant was sent by Abraham along that same route with ten camels loaded with gold and silver. What does Isaac send? Nothing. Not even a single servant to help Jacob on the journey.
Isaac treated his son worse than a slave. Because in Deuteronomy 15:12–15, if a Hebrew bond servant worked six years and was then set free, he should be sent away with plenty of provision. But Jacob had served his father for sixty years, and got nothing.
How Did Jacob Bear It?
Here is the question. How does a man stand up under the constant grind of work with no affection at all from his father, no help, and no recognition? Why didn’t Jacob speak up? Why didn’t he just let rip at his father? Why wasn’t he consumed with bitterness?
When we look at Jacob, there is something striking — he is always obeying. He obeyed his mother; he obeyed his father. And even when his father sent him away with nothing but a staff in his hand — no resources, no help, no money for the bride price — he obeyed without wailing and complaining as his brother Esau did. Even Esau himself had to admit in Genesis 28:7 that Jacob was an obedient son.
But how did Jacob accomplish this obedience under the most difficult of circumstances, and how can we do the same?
The Secret: Faith in God’s Promises
Well, the answer lies with God, of course. Jacob had a guarantee from God that he would inherit — the older would serve the younger. As Mark 11:24 says of prayer, Jacob believed that he had received it and it was already his. He took that promise, made it his own, and held it in his possession by faith.
But there is more. Jacob knew the terms of the covenant. And this is what you have to get to know.
In Genesis 17:1–2 it says: “I am God Almighty. Walk before me and be blameless, that I may make my covenant between me and you, and may multiply you greatly.”
So we have the conditions: walk before me and be blameless. And we have the benefits: I will multiply you greatly. This is what motivated Jacob’s obedience. He knew there was a reward — a definite reward, a reward guaranteed by God. Jacob knew that murmuring and complaining was a sin, and that sin would cause the blessing to evaporate. Jacob desired fervently to take possession of the fullness of that blessing. He was so fervent, so hot, that even the coldness of his father toward him could not chill this desire.
And we must imitate Jacob — beloved of God — in his fanatical desire for God’s blessing. Indeed, God’s covenant blessings must become more real to us than the wounds our family might inflict upon us, whether a brother, sister, father, mother, uncle, or brother-in-law.
Application: Your Own Isaac
So do you face an Isaac of your own? Perhaps it is your father, who has never and will never love you and give you the approval you long for. Maybe it is your father in the faith, who was once faithful — but not so much now. Now he is wilfully blind to the obvious evils in the world, favouring the reprobates and hindering the godly.
Does your Isaac bless you with words, but never give you what you need to move forward in life?
Here is an important point: many people change over time. We all know people who have changed, little by little or suddenly all at once, dramatically in their conduct. But Isaac never changed. And if the Isaac in your life truly is an Isaac, they may never change. They may never wake up.
We don’t know whether that will happen or not. But if we walk the long road of obedience and trust in God’s promises, then we will inherit.
Jacob’s Honour Toward His Father
What was the measure of the honour that Jacob gave to his father? On his deathbed, in Genesis 48:15, he honours his father — the author of all the woes in his life — with these words: “The God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked.”
He didn’t cast shade on him. He didn’t disrespect him. He never once spoke ill of his father. And Jacob was a man just like you and me. It wasn’t simply the way he was wired — he would have struggled with the very struggles you struggle with.
Victory Over Bitterness
How can we be obedient and uncomplaining in the face of such provocation? That is what God’s covenant offers us — it offers us victory. And victory is sweet. But a man will die inside a thousand times over if he thinks that defeat is inevitable.
Jacob knew by faith that he would win, because God told him he would. The older would serve the younger. And that is how we save ourselves from bitterness and despair: by wrestling — wrestling God’s promises into our heart and our mind.
Homework
[Informal/Aside: And that’s our homework — as well as trying to figure out whether Jacob was indeed 71 years of age when he left his father. Perhaps you questioned me on that — good.]
But our serious homework is to figure out what promises are ours. Jacob only had the promises given to Abraham. He had only a few promises. We have all the rest of the Bible and all those promises to seize. We have a great deal of wrestling to do.
[Informal/Aside: And I know some people here love wrestling — well, here’s something worthwhile wrestling for.]
God’s covenant blessings have to become more real to us, more tangible to us, more familiar to us than all the hurts we receive from father, brother, sister, mother, brother-in-law, or uncle.
Closing Blessings
I’ve got some blessings for you, and then I’m done.
Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Ephesians 3:20–21: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us — to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
1 Thessalonians 5:23–24: “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.”
Amen.
Scripture Index
All passages quoted or directly referenced in this talk:
| Reference | Context |
|---|---|
| Psalm 20; 21; 24 | ”The God of Jacob” — repeated phrase across the Psalms |
| Hebrews 11:16 | God is not ashamed to be called the God of Jacob |
| Exodus 3:6 | ”I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob” |
| Genesis 25:23 | God’s prophecy to Rebekah — the elder shall serve the younger |
| Genesis 25:27 | Jacob described as an ish tam — upright, blameless man |
| Genesis 26 | God appears to Isaac twice during famine |
| Genesis 27:29 | Isaac’s attempted blessing of Esau — nations to bow down to him |
| Genesis 27:40 | ”By your sword you shall live” — Isaac’s word over Esau |
| Genesis 27:41–45 | Esau’s murder plot; Rebekah warns Jacob and urges him to flee |
| Genesis 27:46 | Rebekah’s appeal to Isaac about the daughters of Heth |
| Genesis 28:1–4 | Isaac sends Jacob to Padan Aram; the Abrahamic blessing spoken |
| Genesis 28:7 | Even Esau acknowledges Jacob’s obedience |
| Genesis 32:10 | Jacob crossed the Jordan with only his staff |
| Genesis 48:15 | Jacob honours Abraham and Isaac on his deathbed |
| Deuteronomy 15:12–15 | Hebrew bond servants must be sent away with provision after six years |
| Mark 11:24 | Believe that you have received what you pray for |
| Genesis 17:1–2 | God’s covenant with Abraham — walk before me and be blameless |
| Romans 15:13 | May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace |
| Ephesians 3:20–21 | God able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine |
| 1 Thessalonians 5:23–24 | May the God of peace sanctify you completely |