Getting a Wife in 2026? Here's What Scripture Reveals

What I did was go through some notable marriages in Scripture. The first marriage in Scripture is Adam and Eve. Then there is Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Joseph and Asenath — not Sassanach, but Asenath — and there is Moses and Zipporah, and David and Michal.

I do not think Christian men really know what to do. There is a lot of blaming of women for being a certain way, there is a blaming of boomers and the previous generation for the decisions that they made. But I do not think that is really the biblical way to approach things — to blame other people. Where in the Bible can we point to the fact that God says: it is not your fault, blame somebody else? Well, the first blame we got in Scripture was in the Garden of Eden, was it not? In Genesis 3: “The woman you gave me…” He started blaming the woman, but he was really blaming God. Blame is no way forward. But there is a way forward if we take the example of godly men. They may not have been perfect men, but they were godly men.

Adam: Proven Before He Was Given

Let us start with a perfect man — at the time he was perfect, he was sinless — and that is Adam. Before Adam was married by God, was there some preparation?

Adam had started his work. What was Adam’s work? First of all, it was dominion work. And his task was enumerated in Genesis 1:26 and 28 — dominion over the animals. His task was a major one. It was the task that would allow so many generations in the future to be able to ride horses, to take milk from sheep and goats and cows, to haul things about with oxen, and a hundred and one other things. He did the work, and it was a huge task of naming — but it was not just naming like that, calling that one Bob and this one Jim. It was classifying. It was a major work of dominion.

So he proved himself responsible. He proved himself somebody who did not just start — starting is easy. He did not start and then stop. He started and continued until the end. He carried it on to completion. He had proven character. He worked. He had hard-won knowledge of his craft. He knew animals. He knew them inside and out. He was able to provide for his wife for all the reasons I outlined. It was not that he was created, did nothing, knew nothing, was untried and untested, and then got married. Even in a state of innocence, even when there was no sin, he had to prove himself. He had to have a skill.

Jacob: Character Proven Under Adversity

A man who had a more difficult life: Jacob. In Genesis 29, we have the record of his marriage with Rachel — and Leah as well.

Was Jacob a proven character by that stage? We have rehearsed many times how he was called by God. Day after day, he turned up and he did his job. He served in the family farm. We remember the instance when Esau came in from hunting, almost dying. What was Jacob doing? He was in the camp making stew, making food — presumably for his family, maybe for the workers as well. He was working. And when he was sent away by his father, at his mother’s advice, we find instantly when he gets to Paddan-aram that this is a very skilled man. He knew the operation. He could see instantly when he arrived on the scene that something was wrong. He threw the stone from the well and he gave the animals to drink and then sent them out to pasture. His skill was evident.

He was a proven character. He was a solid character. He was a skilful character. And what stands out with Jacob is that he knew business. He could do business. He came with nothing but the shirt on his back. But because he could do a deal, he said: I will work for seven years, and that will be my bride price. His skill was at such a high level. And he was obviously a man of his word — he had already worked a month for Laban before making the agreement.

So in today’s world, where houses are astronomically expensive, where renting is astronomically expensive, we need a trade. Everybody needs some sort of a trade. And if you have business acumen, so much the better. But even more than that, far above that, is that Jacob had a proven character.

When Laban caught up with him after he fled, the whole camp was there arrayed around him, and he had to make a defence. He said: you have changed my wages ten times, but I have never done a thing wrong to you. In fact, I took the sheep that was lost out of my own pocket. And nobody in his camp said a word against it, because they knew this was a proven character. Even far away from the farm, when no one would see him, he was there working day and night, in the heat, in the cold. That enabled him, with nothing but the shirt on his back, to secure a wife in a foreign land.

And by the way — where do we find Jacob complaining? Did Jacob have anything to complain about? His father’s love for his wicked brother? The fact that he had to leave rather than Esau having to leave? The fact that his father sent him away without any help, without any money? He could have thought of hundreds of things to complain about, I am sure — but not a peep. Not a peep. So that complaining spirit which blames the boomers for your problems, which blames society, the economy — there is not a trace of that in Jacob.

Joseph: Calling Exercised in Every Circumstance

What about Joseph and Asenath? Pharaoh gives Asenath to Joseph. From that union came two of the half-tribes of Israel, and the godly line was continued.

Now did Joseph have a skill — something he worked hard at to develop? We know Jacob did. He worked with animals. But Joseph — was he just a Bible character who just turned up and did Bible things?

What colour was his coat? It was a multi-coloured coat — a coat of rule. From the beginning, he was an administrator, a ruler. From the start in his father’s house, he was second only to his father. His father sent him away to check on how his other sons were going along, because he knew that Joseph was a good administrator. His brothers hated him for it.

He was sold into slavery. He wept with great torment when he was taken away — the New Testament tells us this. But did he complain? Was he marked by a bitter spirit because of his circumstances? He was taken away to a country he did not want to be in, away from the people he knew, away from familiar things, even away from his family. Did he complain? No. He did his job in faith. In faith that in due time, just like Jacob, he would be exalted.

He knew by prophecy — in those two dreams — that his mother and father would bow down to him, and his brothers would bow down to him. He knew, and he trusted in that word from the Lord. And so he contented himself. How did he do in Potiphar’s household? He acquitted himself very well. Potiphar trusted him.

Then he is thrown into jail. He is a condemned man, with a sentence of death hanging over him. A terrible situation. So what does he do? He takes to Facebook and he complains. He complains about women. Women are the worst. If anybody had any reason to complain about women, it was Joseph. No. No trace in his social media history of that happening. No complaining.

What does he do instead? He has a calling from God. He has a job to do. He does that job. And like a ball held underwater, let it go — it just shoots up as high as it can go. He was number two to his father. Number two to Potiphar. Number two to the prison chief. And eventually number two only to Pharaoh himself.

If you want to get a wife, that is what you want to do. Prepare yourself, content yourself, and trust in God’s promises. I am not saying that God has to appear to you as he appeared to Joseph. You take the promises: if you sow, you will reap. Galatians says: we will reap if we faint not. So sow in your calling and you will reap.

Moses: Contentment and Courage

We will finish with Moses. Did he have a skill? Yes — he was brought up in the palace. He was very well educated and he was mighty in deed and in speech. So he had the qualities of leadership. He was likely a military man, being mighty in deed, mighty in speech. He was an orator. He could move men.

He had attempted liberation — he thought that people would understand that God was using him. The book of Hebrews tells us this — that he attempted to liberate the people, but they did not understand. And what do we find again? A contentment. When he had to flee from Pharaoh, he was content to stay in Midian. He was content. The King James Version actually uses that word.

Did he have a trade he could exercise in Midian? No — he had to learn a new trade. And maybe you will have to learn a new trade. His trade became looking after sheep — which he certainly would not have learned in the palace, given the Egyptians’ contempt for that profession. Did he complain when he had to do such menial tasks? No. He was content. He was humble.

And then, in due time, God said: it is your turn. Now is the time. And they were going to call upon all his resources. Of course he got the wife, did he not? And what else was involved? Courage. Remember what happens just before he met Zipporah and her family. There were herdsmen around the well making trouble for the sisters. Moses rolled up his sleeves and drove them all away — one man against several. That took courage.

So the pattern is consistent across all of them: a proven character, a skill, business-mindedness, the ability to lead men, contentment without complaining, courage, and faith in God’s promises. Just to emphasise, ladies, they do not have to be rich necessarily. Jacob came with nothing. Moses came with the shirt on his back. What they had was character. And with character and with business-mindedness, you can build something up. That is definitely worth considering.

A Warning About Conspiracy Thinking

A problem that afflicts some people is the problem of conspiracies. I am thinking of people who are active — actively watching YouTube videos, lots of theories going, very knowledgeable. Let us have a little think about that trap. Maybe we have been caught in that trap. I have been caught in that trap too.

If we are still thinking about moving forward in life, getting married, having a family — this is going to be a real snare. Consider this scripture. Ecclesiastes 11:4 says: “He that observeth the wind shall not sow, and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.”

Where are the clouds? They are far above us, far away. What influence does any of us have on the clouds? Zero. And the funny thing about wind and clouds — it is not really the wind or the clouds they are worrying about. It is what might happen. Maybe it will rain. I am not going to sow because maybe the rain will wash it away.

This was very strong during COVID. The conspiracy people are observing. They are watching YouTube videos. They are observing and observing and observing. But what are they not doing? Are they working on their character? Are they working on their business? Are they sowing at all into their life? They are sowing fear and anxiety. He that regardeth the clouds shall not reap. Is there a chance of reaping something good in this activity? If the answer is no, there are ten other opportunities to sow into something that matters.

Another aspect of conspiracy thinking is that it gets things terribly wrong — like the evil report of the ten spies in Numbers 13 and 14. They said: “We are not able to go against the people. They are stronger than we. We were in our own sight as grasshoppers.” What is this conspiracy thinking about? The glorification of Satan and those on the side of Satan. But what did faith in the God of Israel say? “Let us go up at once and possess it, for we are well able to overcome it.”

Goliath was obviously enormous and very dangerous. And the point is that an entire nation was paralysed by fear of a real threat — but a threat that should not have been given that level of fear. A conspiracy can be real, but if we are paralysed by it, if we cannot move forward because of it, there is something unhealthy about it. David, looking at Goliath with the eyes of faith, said: I can take that boy. Why? Because he is an uncircumcised man. The people of God can obviously overcome this.

Conspiracies, if you get sucked into that thing with the wrong mindset, can eat your life and eat your potential. If you are married, it can make your wife miserable. Do not forget: if it keeps you from providing for your wife, what does the Bible say? “He who does not provide for his household has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.” That is from 1 Timothy 5:8. This is rotten stuff.

And then there is the slothful man who said: “There is a lion in the street, I shall be slain.” Was there a lion in the street? No. So when you rip off the mask, who is it that is guilty? It is sloth. You do not want to do a blessed thing. You are too lazy. And so you spend the time that could have been used in productive, dominion work, in watching and warning about the lion around the corner. There is no point in saving money. There is no point in working. They are going to take the currency and turn it upside down. It is a trap. And perhaps we have all fallen into it to a greater or lesser extent.

So: proven character, a skill, business-mindedness, contentment, no complaining, courage — these are what Scripture reveals for the man who wants a wife and a life worth living.